"Up from the OSR" - The Redemption of Satine Phoenix?

The other week my year and a half Isle of Dread campaign ended, and also the campaigns of a couple of my players I was involved in. Especially since I rarely sit down as a player, and like to have campaigns be a year or less long, I am kind of burned out on DnD. I am involved in some supers stuff to learn Marvel Multiverse RPG, but for right now I am sort of looking back on my gaming life of the last decade or so and find myself thinking about the advent of the OSR and personalities therein I have followed or even had brief experiences with to some degree or another. So I thought I might touch upon some of the more interesting ones over a few posts. 

(I should note that as I maybe mention multiple times below, that I have zero insider information about Satine Phoenix, Jamison Stone, Zak Smith, or anybody I might namecheck here. All my knowledge, true or not, about the situation comes from following other media over the years. All written about here should be taken with a grain of salt). 

How about I start with somebody whose trajectory the last decade plus has been kind of fascinating to me, Dungeons and Dragons media communities own bon Vivant, Satine Phoenix?

When I started this blog around 15 years ago I was fairly unaware of a lot that was already going on in the OSR. I had first stumbled upon Grognardia when I got back into DMing after a handful of years off from it, which inspired me to post about my own old school experiences. But you could not go far in the rpg Blogosphere without finding out about the Zak Smith gang of the time. 

Besides the Zak blog, they were doing the I Hit it with My Axe show. Both the blog and the videos, due in large part to a porn connection, had a "hey cum look at me!" factor that just demanded you take a look. So I did.

I always found watching other people play DnD was about as much fun as watching flies' fuck. The few minutes I looked had me mostly wondering what having half your head shaved was supposed to represent at that time. The players were pretty much porn actor girls without makeup, who were about as interesting as porn actors usually are in interviews and such. And always looking very different than their heavily made-up video versions. You can look at one of the many docs and specials with names such as "Dark Side of Porn. It's never as interesting as you thought it might be. YMMV. 

Even to this day I have little patience for even big play videos like Critical Role. So I cannot judge. But for Satine it seemed the first step towards a career that did not involve some fairly extreme endeavors of the past. 

The least graphic pic I could find of 
Satine's early work.

If you Google her name, make sure you have Safe Search on if at work or your significant other is around. Even putting "DnD" in the search will still serve up some video nasties.

Look, Satine apparently had a rough childhood. It pretty much had to do with her father. Enough said regarding that. But young women who go through this stuff often end up in adult entertainment. Growing up in LA I have known some folk involved in porn..not high end, for what it is worth, but neither were those associated with RPG porn actor gamers like Zak Smith and Satine. I think Sasha Grey was perhaps the most well known of that bunch, and her stuff was from an early 2000's fascination with gross acts with mass amounts of human fluid, and it is common for people from abusive childhoods to end up in it, sadly. If they find some kind of fame beyond the sex work more power to them. And Satine was and is trying for that fame, albeit of the small pond variety tabletop gaming exists in. Certainly, steps up from backroom S&M. Moreso up from badly lit amateur home video threesomes with Zak and Mandy Morbid. But you can do your own research on that.

Matt can't wait to get home 
and fire up Pornhub

Outside of the Zak sphere in the mid to later 2000's, I eventually noticed that Satine was heavily involved in various things at a Los Angeles comic shop called "Meltdown Comics" (which I understand closed a few years ago). Besides some kind of art classes she was involved in, I recall they were charging for folks to play with Satine there. Sure, shops might charge for table use. But this seemed to be about forking over a bit extra to play with a porn "star." I remember pics of her on the Meltdown meetup page with some of the shop players at Magic Castle in Los Angeles, and I have to imagine they were paying to go with her. I recall some online gaming with Satine and Mandy Morbid and probably others, paying a few bucks an hour to have games run for them. OSR blogger and current Erik Tenkar buddy Joe the Lawyer paid Satine regularly for solo sessions I recall. Satine was hustling, putting the legwork into monetizing the incels of the hobby.  

Nothing wrong with any of this. I mean, other stuff she got paid to do is certainly not on the glamorous side of porn. I also remember her posting about her birthday party at the comic shop, and how several hundred dollars' worth of stuff was stolen and she was begging for the return. Potentially something that can happen due to the type of dudes who pay for playing DnD with someone involved in porn. I do recall feeling a bit sorry for her then in regard to that. The comic shops I loved and lived near were on the west side of LA (world famous Hi Di Ho in Santa Monica, started by a dude on my dad's pub dart team) compared to Meltdowns Hollywood home, but I followed what was up on the Meltdown meetup page because they were involved in all kinds of stuff besides art and DnDing with a porn person. 

Below is some doings at Meltdown over a decade ago. She is positive and having fun. Satine clearly involved in some kind of Kickstarter, and years later Kickstarters are a big part of her life, but not in a positive way. Stay tuned. 

When The Zak n' Mandy stuff went down, Satine was quick to disavow Zak and be on team Mandy. That never resolved. I think I saw Zak somewhere say she had to because of her other DnD official associations. She moved on from Zak World, which some might say was not a bad thing. She was on her way in the cleaner DnD world. She was a community manager for what that is worth. I honestly still don't know what that means. Was it a paying job?

I think around those pre-covid times Satine was showing up in other, higher profile places. Will Wheaton's Tabletop show had an appearance by her, and other Geek and Sundry bits. And she popped up in the Rick and Morty comic for a couple panels. At this time she was always wearing these elf ear prosthetics, which was part of the brand I guess. 

A hunny fitty is a long way from paying 10 bucks
at Meltdown Comics for Satine DnD and pancakes.

It is up for debate of course, but one has to imagine that there might have been something similar to the Meltdown comics situation. I mean, does having somebody who was fairly involved in porn for a few years make a project more appealing to aforementioned incels? Adding the whiff of snizz to Geek and Sundrey projects? 

One kind of high-profile project around that early Covid time was Destination Fantastic, what was meant to be a sort of DnD themed travel show featuring "Ears" Phoenix and some guy I was not really aware of who owned a mini manufacturing company. I think they maybe managed an episode or two but I believe the Kickstarter failed. But enough money for a free trip or two overseas I guess. More on possible free trips later..

Did he or didn't he? Ah, I think
we would be able to tell if he did. 
On the other hand, I forget his name
but I think it has the word "Poke" in it. 

Post covid I was not paying much attention to these personalities. I was too busy with my new phase of the hobby...running games on Roll20 and ignoring the fading OSR. I didn't even live in LA anymore. I heard nothing about Satine for at least a couple of years. Then her latest controversy popped up. A big one. In a nutshell Satine had hooked up with a bicep-flashing gym meat head gamer/self-help guru/maybe wanna be cult leader named Jamison Stone. 

Jamison is challenging you to a 
pull up contest, fatty bombatty..

My initial impressions of the guy was that he was Zak Smith if he went to the gym 3 hours a day. The Jamison and Satine whirlwind romance was full of Kickstarters and DnD events in castles and on cruises for some big bucks. Also apparently working as personal life coaches. His self-help book at the time, "Dye your hair, paint your nails, and wear bicep ties for a new you!" was a best seller. I read about that somewhere in something..

Actually, Stone was on the hustle years before getting with Satine. He wrote a book and when promoting he was already getting those bicep pythons pumped and dressing up like characters from works he was involved in. 

So author, cosplayer, and life coach to help you with your needs, mere mortal!

They will for sure improve your eye shadow and 
glitter application game

They apparently had a ton of irons in the fire. Even in the early days of his relationship with Satine, Stone seemed to have a kind of communal living thing going on with his Apotheosis Studios creatives, who he had living with him on a property in Colorado. Check out this not too terribly long video by a young couple who were cosplay professionals and streamers who had a tough time of it living under Jamison's shadow for some weeks. As there are in many comments and opinions by those who dealt with Satine and Jamison, the word "cult" comes up fairly often. 

                                                        Lucy, you got some bitchin' to do!

Their wedding at Garycon, or wherever, in a velvet roped-off hotel bar and got tongues clicking. I mean, they shut down the bar at a big convention for two hours and was very velvet-ropey.  

With a guest list that was a literal "Who's that?"
of minor Geek and Sundry celebs circa 2019-2022.
Jason Charles Miller and Amy Vopal? Count
me in! Oh, wait, I'm not invited..

This looks like that fucked up opening
ceremony of the last Olympic Games

Their final Kickstarter, I have to admit, looked kind of interesting to me. Battle of the Bards. A bardic campaign for bards with lot of people running bards and bard NPC's and bard magic and hopefully some bitchin' bard Pok(orny)ing. 

That's Satine. You know. The brand. 
Pretty cool image though. I don't do 
Kickstarters but I had interest in this.

They even had themselves inserted as major NPC's. Since Jamison barely looked real to me, I guess him being a DnD character is about right.

Witch Bolt. I'm betting 
he's doing a Witch Bolt. 

So Kickstarters and appearances and podcasts and even an honest to god game company. Apotheosis Studios. Working on Battle of the Bards and all that.

Some of it looks cool. But also there is plenty of cringe to go along with cool looking bits. And not I don't think that is Satine singing. 

I have no inside info, but when all the shit was going down over for around a year I started hearing that they, especially Stone, were not very nice people to do business with. Its kind of all over the place. A lot of shit in a short about of time. The first thing I recall is a somewhat famous tattoo artist was hired by Jamison and Satine and treated him like shit personally and professionally. The artist was later quoted saying he was “insulted, berated, and talked down to as if I was a lesser person.”

 

That there becomes a common thread. Satine and her main man were treating people like peon pieces of shit. Employees, contracted writers and other talent. And the pair, in a certain place of power in gaming and its monetization at this point, were supposedly making a lot of threats about deplatforming people. Here is one example of Stone's request for a personal apology, I think to the tattoo guy..

Hear this; if you want people to treat you like an adult and/or professional, you need to act like one. You have yet to do this. And your carelessness only continues to disappoint me and make the situation worse for yourself. I’m done [interacting] with you […] The only way I can see you salvaging the situation for yourself, both personally and professionally is to write me (and Satine if you so choose) a genuine letter of apology, taking responsibility for yourself and your actions. If you decide to do this, I expect it to be through the post, not email. You have my address.

Put it in perspective of the time. These two considered themselves self-help gurus. And why not? Such careers can get you huge cult like followings. They offered people around them, fans and simps, costly training in life stuff. And went for it. And Satine was talking in some interviews that her exposure to fantasy role play has given her certain mental powers to help others, and other kind of disturbing stuff. 

Pretty sure Leader Stone can
look into your brain as well. 
You know, cuz all that DnD
in his noggin..

Apparently Jamison and Satine liked to throw around their accrued weight in the pro part of the hobby be berating people, acting all high and mighty, and on many occasions threatening to, and actually having people cancelled out of the professional side of gaming. Both Stone and Satine. To the guy who was burned on tattoo work, when he chimed in with some complaints on his treatment, got this message from stone. Lot of such messages to many people would eventually pop up.

and blurbs like this were common...

I believe every word of Chad’s post. This is nearly identical to my own experience. It was the most awful working environment. Jamison Stone repeatedly threatened & berated myself and other freelancers. I had never felt more taken advantage of in my life.

-This comes from Tristan and Katie who hired the pair as guests for a livestream of PAX West. They detail mistreatment at the hands of the pair, including being lectured for drinking more than one glass of wine, getting berated for mishandling a suitcase, and being relegated from employer to assistant.

They knew they could “ruin anyone [they] wanted with a single tweet.”

Finding out about Tristan and Katie was what really made me perk up. By then there was already an appalling amount of rough bits and pieces coming to light about Satine and Jamison's alleged horrible treatment of people. But these two young people really put it over the edge. Brian W. Foster, a Critical Role minor personality (who had his own controversies and cancellation soon after) streamed hours of material on this, including a long interview with the pair that had harrowing tales of their experience with Satine and Stone at Pax West. 

Tristan and Katie were rising stars at a streaming company or something, and they had arranged through work to pay Satine and Jamison to appear on a stream at Pax. Through T and K were literally the bosses, our heroes S and J were said to have treated them as unloved peasant servants from the get go. Pick up coffee at Starbucks early in the morn and bring it to them. This is the worst to me. A Starbucks near a convention hotel is going to have a line out the door by 6AM. You can practically hear in your mind Satine and Stone talking about this in the hotel and laughingly deciding their bosses should shlep for them. At the con the bosses were made to carry all their bags and such throughout the day. 

At one point they got berated for not making sure S and J's coffee was accounted for. They had left their own coffee on a lobby table or something and their bosses were expected to make sure this did not happen. Satine and Stone also got pretty personal with them, each taking the significant other aside to give them the life coach shit they both thought they were experts in. Jamison told Tristan how to be more of a man in his relationship, and also workout advice because he was "soft around the edges." 

Tristan and Katie were young people trying to move up in the company they were working for. So they went along with Satine and Stones treatment, because what else? They were hoping associating with the latest thing in gaming communities would be a step up for them. So they shlepped, they got up at dawn to get coffee for two infant terribles, and followed them along the con floors as S and S held our their hands to various merchants for free swag. 

So this came out, and the damn was opened. All the shit they were allegedly up to became well known in gaming circles. People were speaking up. Posting in forums and on youtube. 

There is enough material to fill a book at that point, but the long and short of it the meanie bobeanies had to make a plan. First up was Satines public apology. 

Satine cried, whimpered, round about blamed the victims for taking the abuse, and talked about her career being over..

Right off the bat, she says her "partner is being bullied" and now she can't do what she wants. Here it becomes all about her "trauma" and yeah, trauma begats causing trauma sometimes. Those abused by a parent often end up abusers. But I always thought being abused is no good excuse for being an abuser. 

The cancelling of various con events occurred. Satine thrashed about a bit, then mostly vanished as far as I can tell eventually.

As Tenkar explains below, Stone took the hit. Purposefully. Clearly the plan was to save the brand, which probably much to Jamison's chagrin meant him biting the bullet. He talks among other things about how mental illness guides his passions (I think) and that he is going to do some serious self-reflection (I guess). And Satine was glad to NOT share the blame.

The most recent Kickstarter, Battle of the Bards, did not deliver. You can go in and read the comments from angry donators going years back now. Though I have heard there has been some movement in fulfilling some things, but there will be no full boat. Satine pleads poverty to a degree. See below about her trips to Bali.

Before mostly going into the shadows, Satine began her main excuse of her own mental issues making her not the best person she could be (and making her be mean to peons). 

In the couple of years since I was not much aware of Satine stuff. Jamison certainly went away. 

Well, not away from Satine. Long enough that Satine emerged a year or two later with revelations that she divoced her husband, who she claims was mentally and physically abuse. Most harrowing sounding was multiple chocking's which she claims changed her voice. Yow. 

When Satine started popping up more and more the last year or so, she was still involved in stuff. Back to life coaching. Apparently she was claiming to be a professor of human anatomy, though I can't really find citations on that. And twice in the last year or so, the second time very recently, she has gone on extended trips to Bali.

She claims Stone took the money and ran. But going to Bali and doing yoga and eating high end food and all that would cost most of us several thousand dollars at the very least. I read somebody postulating that Satine had some "benefactor." and consider some of her background I suppose that could be the case. She has also apparently gone on fantastic vacations to Aspen. But what cost mental wellness, right? 

Satine most recently is clearly trying to get back in the lucrative gaming space. She has appeared on some podcasts and such talking about her experiences, mental health, and getting back in the space. 

She did a couple interviews for this (not very highly viewed) podcast. And it is clearly about making her look good. There are many edits. Also , after some light convo, they ask her about the controversies and she is all "Oh man I really didn't want to talk about this" when c'mon, this shit was about talking about this to get the redemption train moving. It's hard to tell the sincerity of self-improvement. I try and often fail. We all try to be better people. I guess being happy is the best way to feel improved. I hope Satine is happy, and truly is trying to be better to not just herself but to the people she has some kind of power over. Assuming she gets back in that space. 

Jamison "Light" Stone is still into life coaching in Colorado. Apparently far away from the gaming space. There seems to be less glitter and eye shadow, and those trademark bicep ties are gone (though the pythons are still properly pumped). 

Human Excellence Coaching — The Stone Protocol