Gilbert Gottfried - a bigger loss than you think

My second RIP post in a matter of weeks, but what the hell. This is important for me, and the two people who read this blog. 

Gilbert Gottfried died this week. People know the raspy voiced New York actor/comedian from a million little things, but most of the world would know him as the voice of the parrot in Alladin and appearances in both Problem Child film. But his unique, chalkboard delivery has gotten him work in lots of cartoons, and many oddball live action roles, such as Abraham Lincoln in A Million Ways to Die in the West, and many 90's sitcoms. As far as cartoons, my favorite was Mxyzptlk in the 90's animated Superman series.

And the definitive pronunciation of a name I 
had struggled with all my life "mixy spit lick"

Gil's no-holds-barred humor got him in a lot of hot water. His family claims his early 90's appearance at The Oscars where he rattled off several Pee Wee Herman jerking-off references resulted in a partial blacklisting in Hollywood, where only directors and writers who were steadfast fans tended to give him character actor work. 

In the 90's he made many appearances on The Howard Stern Show, where "Woke" had yet to exist. There was a multiple appearance segment where Gilbert donned a Dracula costume, and went down to the bustling Manhattan streets to ask passersby questions about the OJ Simpson case ("do you think OJ has a black heart? As black as the darkest caves of Transylvania?"). Pretty nutty. 

"Do you believe Chris Darden 
shtooped Marcia Clark?"

And doing a Dracula voice had already been part of his act for many years. See, GG was a fan of old movies. Especially horror movies of the 30's through 50's. But not just Horror. Abbot and Costello, Three Stooges, all the Universal stuff. I remember long ago reading about how Gilbert would do stand up at colleges, and nobody would know any of his ancient references or voices. Only when doing something like a Mickey Mouse joke would he get laughs. 

But if you are a certain age, say well over 40, you may well have grown up where one of the few local off channels showed old movies in the afternoon, and sometimes all day on the weekend. All the Universal horrors, Dead End Kids, Bogey, Stalag 17. King Kong, Godzilla, and here and there some old Hammer horror films. And you probably had a weekend horror host, such as Elvira and various local "ghoulish" personalities, like in LA we had "Seymour" a mustachioed Gomez Adams wanna be in a cape and fedora. These had the real treats. 

This is what Gilbert grew up on in New York, where the force was strong with old movie marathons apparently. So this was a large part of his stand up. And this love of the old and often obscure led to him starting the podcast that is the subject of this post: Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast. 

Along with co-host, writer and fellow old film buff Frank Santopadre, they discussed old films, actors, and conducted many interviews, with Frank keeping the agent of Chaos Gil on the straight path. They worked hard to bring on old guests who were in the last years of life, to preserve their memories and words. Staggering old actors (it was mostly women in their 90's who still lived) from Frankenstein films or old musicals would come in and share tales of sad old Hollywood while Gilbert cracked wise and howled with laughter. Discussions about moments in time that would never be spoken of again where the order of the day. Deep, deep dives. 

And raunchy stories were some of Gilbert's favorites. He was an old Hollywood gossip machine. He would ask old celebrities if they knew about Cesar Romero's fetish for having orange wedges tossed at his naked ass, or about how Tony Curtis was in a limo in the 70's, saw Walter Matthau walking down a New York street, and rolled down his window to Brag about having just slept with Yvonne Dicarlo of the Munsters. 

More modern comedians would often come on to tell their own tales of Sad old Hollywood fandom, such as Patton Oswalt, or voice actor Billy West (Stern Show, Futurama, Ren and Stimpy) who much like Gil was influenced by old celluloid, being well known for impersonations of Grandpa Al Lewis of the Munsters, or Larry of the Three Stooges (basis for Stimpy). 

There are other great podcasts about old film, such as another fave of mine You Must Remember This. But the amount of stories, and heavily sought after interviews with the barely living, that made the podcast special. A treasure, in a way. 

And that is as much a tragedy maybe as the loss of the man. His work, though sometimes crass, cast a light on the forgotten but not all gone. How many tales still hanging in there will not be told? 

The podcast will probably be retooled by Santopadre. I'd like to see it be rotating hosts; Billy West, Patton, Seth MacFarlane. Any old movie fan with a sense of humor may not replace Gil, but they can carry on his important work. Important to a fan of, I'll say it again, Sad old Hollywood. 

that well again...

But for now, go take a look at the archives. I think much older ones are behind a paywall, but that might change. Give some props to Frank and dearly departed Gilbert if you grew up on stuff that was already decades old. Goodbye Gil, I hope you are an angel with a dirty face (old movie reference, 'natch).

Cheers.

 

D&D and the Fuzz just don't mix

Hi-lar-ious clip from the Reno 911 cops getting called to a dispute at a Dungeons and Dragons session, featuring the ever awesome geek comedian Patton Oswalt. Note how his Boots of Escaping are no match for the policeman's bullet of ass-penetration.

How many Failsauce gamers have you played with who you would like to have seen this happen too? About a thousand, that's how many.

WOTC I do not wish you well

In a recent post over at Cyclopeatron. Cyclo talks about a new trading card element for D&D from WOTC, and of course it is just a lame move by this company to try and recapture a collectable card fad that had its heyday over a decade ago; plugging it into a game with a name that has serious geek zeitgeist. This was the first I heard of it, and I still do not know all the details, but jeez, what utter shit this once mysterious and wonderful game has been made into by these modern marketeers. No wonder so many of us hold on to the retro.

But what strikes me even odder is the commentary you hear from blog followers who do not play current WOTC products, but “wish them well.” What kind of “happy happy joy joy” mentality does somebody have to have to wish this corporate crapola well? Who that does not play with current WOTC merchandise would give a flying rats ass about WOTC and it’s chickenshit schemes for its product. These well-wishers are more Pollyanna than the chipper gay policemen from Demolition Man.

OK, you say “it’s good to get new people into the hobby.” Why? Because you can’t get/keep a group together? Do you hope D&D will take off gigantically like the mid-80’s again when groups were too full and closed to new players, starting a soup line of hungry players wanting to play at your table? Or is it so it becomes more mainstream and therefore you no longer have to have some weird guilt/shame thing in your gut when you are around people who are talking about wine and cars and The LA Lakers and who think this kind of activity is for the proverbial geektards?

I mean, when I started D&D the late 70’s, you talked about it in school in whispers. Just like comic books and being into Sci Fi movies instead of cars, it was like we were part of this little secret society. “We” watched Star Trek and Dark Shadows reruns, “They” watched C.H.I.P.S and Movin’ on (you may not remember it, but it was an action drama featuring truckers that all the dipshits in “special” classes watched in the early 80’s). Even in elementary school I remember the class voting on it's favorite TV show, with "That's My Momma"( a piece of junk Sanford and Son rip-off) getting the winning nod, and me being jeered for voting for Kolchak: The Night Stalker.

By high school, I would sneak away after football practice to run Tegal Manor for the Fantasy Role Playing Association meeting in some unlocked classroom. If word got out to my teammates what I was doing, I’d have probably gotten goofed on relentlessly in the locker room, and the cheerleader dates would have dried up. I loved that this was a small, underground, niche hobby. That was half the fun for me.

Patton Oswalt, D&D playing geek comedian, puts how I feel well here in one of his rants about underground geek culture:

“…Admittedly, there’s a chilly thrill in moving with the herd while quietly being tuned in to something dark, complicated, and unknown just beneath the topsoil of popularity. Something about which, while we moved with the herd, we could share a wink and a nod with two or three other similarly connected herdlings.

When our coworkers nodded along to Springsteen and Madonna songs at the local Bennigan’s, my select friends and I would quietly trade out-of-context lines from Monty Python sketches—a thieves’ cant, a code language used for identification. We needed it, too, because the essence of our culture—our “escape hatch” culture—would begin to change in 1987…”

I don’t think anybody needs to hate WOTC, and if they actually play their products then more power to them. But if you don’t, you at least wish them well? Do you actually know the people who work there? The top brass all the way down to the lowest goof-off file clerk who after hours pisses in the office coffee pot? Fuck them. I don’t wish them anymore well than I do any other souless corporation in this country. That they are in the game-making business holds no mystique for me, and does not for sure automatically garner my well-wishes. James Raggi I wish well. Geoffry McKinney I wish well. Goodman I wish goddamn well! WOTC I wish them all a jolly springtime standing in the goddamn unemployment line.

Wizards of the Coast, please fail horribly and die a miserable bankruptcy court death. I still have my copies of OD&D and 1st edition, and it is all I will ever need for my D&D.