Dracula - dead, but not always loving it

 Obligatory Halloween post

I've been in a bit of a Dracula frame of mind lately. We all know there are LOT of Drac films out there from over the decades. And of course, some better (and less stupid) than others.

A stupid one, at least in terms
of casting choice

This little phase for me started a few weeks ago. I decided to pay for a few months of AMC+ to do my third or fourth rewatch of Mad Men, one of my favorite all time shows. But you also get some Shudder content with that, and I saw that my fave horror host, Joe Bob Brigg, had been doing his thing the last few years with his latest show The Last Drive In. I noticed he had an episode with the original Nosferatu. So I watched it. 

I probably never saw it before due mostly to it being and old black and white film. Those always seem so hokey. The organ music and what not. But what surprised me was this version had the original orchestral score from its first limited release (it was halted during its original run by Bram Stokers wife, and she nearly caused all copies to be destroyed). That made a HUGE difference. As with all great scores it was a character in itself. It lended so much weight to the now somewhat goofy goings on and helped a lot with the mood of it. And Joe Bob coming in now and again to explain some of the crazy backstory of the film and those involved also added interest. 

I have to say, I found it very spooky. unnerving in a way that more modern stuff just doesn't have. Maybe that dream like quality many old silent films have. 

Not long after, maybe that same week, I watched the Klaus Kinski version from 1979. Creepy in its own way, it had that sort of hyperrealism but also surreal thing that most Herzog films have, such as the great Aguirre the Wrath of God. 

I also rewatched Bram Stokers Dracula last week, but I had seen that many times. I mostly watched it because I heard a humorous podcast about it (and Australian pod called The Weekly Planet, with a youtube channel called Carvan of Garbage).

And just tonight, for laughs, I watched the Bela Lugosi Drac. I had seen that, but it had been a long time. It was a little over an hour long, so I whipped it through before dinner. I guess it counts as my Halloween movie. 

So without going into a long text about them, I thought I would just share some random thoughts:

First and foremost, I think 1922 Nosferatu is the most chilling at this point, in some part due to what I said above. But the biggest reason I think is the sheer inhumanity of The Count. He has none of the sympathy you can feel for the Lagosi and Kinski Dracs. No love longings or regret at his fate. This Count is more like an insect man, totally operating out of some almost alien instinct. This makes him extra frightening. Another thing I just love about the 1922 is the war of wills from hundreds of miles away Mina (I think she is Lucy in this) seems to be fighting on the pyschic plane with The Count, and man she never met and knows nothing about. Like so much in his film its way ahead of its time in concept. 

I was not blown away by the 1979 Herzog film. I found Kinski's portrayal almost comical. A several minute focus on him running back and forth across london carrying coffins made me laugh. Also in this version there is an amazing scene towards the end where plague-stricken townsfolk dance and feast in the town square, which historically was apparently a thing. The ending to this also had a twist that many folk, including myself think about at the end of a movie when a human-like monster is killed. Isn't this murder?

Not a lot to say about Lugosi Drac. Growing up with cartoons and such that parodies it does not help the mood. Everybody from Bugs Bunny to the Three Stooges have made fun of it. But it's interesting just how small the story is. It was based in large part of a stage play that Lugosi actually appeared in. Very little is explained about Dracs motives other than the usual stuff coming out of Van Helsing. And the ending is anti-climactic to say the least. What I did love was the understated brides of Dracula. When Renfield passes out, they come from behind pillars in a sort of methodical stalking mode, but looking almost like Elvish princesses. They are so focused on the prey. Scary. A moment ahead of its time, and I think more effective than the orgiastic brides from the Coppola film.

Francis Coppola's Dracula from the 90's is the biggest depiction of the story, adding a ton of origin material, but also maybe the most faithful. Lots of its dialogues are from the book. Its heavy on the love story, and I'm not sure how much I like Dracula being depicted so demonic in forms and powers, but so human at the same time. He bubbles and cries at least a couple times in this. So many schlocky moments. But damn if this had the best depiction of Van Helsing of all time. 

Not sure how soon I'll do it, but I have a hankering to watch some Hammer Dracula at some point, which I have not seen since I was a kid. 

Cheers and happy Halloween!

The Heartbreak of November 1st

Aw, the unhappy ending of a beloved holiday. A Jager hangover in the office is never an enjoyable thing. And all the candy in the mailroom Is leftover crap nobody wants. Sweettarts, lollipops, and some kind of weirdo Mexican candy. There are still some cupcakes leftover in the large kitchen, but they look like somebody smooshed them with the palm of their hand. That’s ok though, because they are a sad reminder of the poor turnout and uninspiring costumes from yesterday’s office Halloween party anyway. The new blonde bookkeeper in the black cat costume was pretty hot though.

Last night I wanted to do the second year of a grand tradition. See, last year I happened to be at home heading towards midnight on Halloween, with the “Sounds of the Season” channel on. At exactly midnight they were playing “Monster Mash” or something, and *bam* suddenly it went right into cheerful holiday music. You know that stuff they play before Thanksgiving that aren’t really Christmas tunes or carols but evoke the Holiday Winter spirit anyway? So the image goes from a grinning pumpkin to a pilgrim handing a Native American a horn-o-plenty (the Native blissfully having not a clue about what would soon be happening to him and his people). Anyway, I was so jarred by that transition that I wanted to be there for it last night. Why not? All my holiday out and about partying was over the weekend (Sat night up till 5am, and there were some great costume concepts out there), so at home on Halloween Monday night it’s me and some Jagermiester at midnight with my new little tradition waiting for the musical transition…but nothing. No change-over. As of this morning, they are still playing goddamn Halloween music on that channel. I wonder how long that will go on? Halloween is over, dude! I’m thinking Time Warner Cable maybe don’t exactly have a crack team of professionals keeping an eye on those music channels.

Aw well, time to take down the cheap Rite-Aid decorations and get back to work. At least on the next holiday in a few weeks I’ll get a long weekend off. Vegas, baby!

So what you gonna be for Halloween?

In my earliest memory of a costume, I was probably around 7 or 8. My parents had only been in the country around 10 years, and dad was still working as a house painter. So my first costume was…a house painter. Easy enough, my dad is not a tall guy and by 8 I was already closing in on his height. I imagine I would have preferred to have been Gigantor or Kimba the White Lion or something like that, but even a crappy mask and a bit of fabric was beyond the reach of my fairly broke immigrant parents at the time. But one thing I loved: back then in the early 70’s you got lots of candy. Every house was giving it out. It was a good time to grow up by the 80’s, because by then it seemed like only one or two houses on a block were giving out treats.

By the time the folks had money, I was a teen and responsible for my own costumes. For a lot of my mid to late teens I worked up some half-assed outfits based on this or that D&D character, especially my first character, a ranger name Arcturus Grimm. I even remember running a couple of games on Halloweens, ones where we all made ourselves up like our characters. At around 17, my girlfriend at the time did herself up as her drow MU, with black skin and white hair and all. She was tall and thin with somewhat Mediterranean features , and it just looked great. After gaming a couple of hours, we all went to Westwood Village near UCLA to hang out and go to a screening of The Road Warrior. I ran into some girls from work ( a Walden Books in Santa Monica) at that theater, and they were blown away by my black-skinned, ivory-haired sweetie.

But by 18 I was no longer really interested in D&D dress-up. I had gone with friends to a convention dressed like the Clockwork Orange Droogies, and we were so popular there I liked to wear that outfit whenever I could. It always tripped people out (by the early 90’s droog costumes had been done to death). I went with some other friends in recent years, around 2002, to a Loscon in Los Angeles, and not only where three of us Droogs, but the girl with us got a red jump suit and worked it as the gang rape victim from the home invasion in Clockwork Orange (but in this incarnation she liked it). Clever idea, but it seemed to freak people out more than trip them out.

Back in my early 20’s I started working at a couple of Renaissance Faires during the year, and all that weekend dress-up kind of satisfied my desire to be in costume. For the longest time, a couple of decades in fact, I rarely went in costume to parties. When I did, it was usually as easy a costume to put together as possible. But in recent years I have gotten an interest in doing decent costumes, especially at Fools Guild parties. FG is an organization of Hollywood people, ex- Ren Faire folk, costumers, and general nutsos in Southern California. Every year they elect a King or Queen out of their ranks, and this regent organizes several parties a year for The Guild. My old friend and current player Terry is heavily involved in decorating these shindigs (I’m sure she is on the fast track for Queen status one year soon), usually held at rented venues in Glendale or Pasadena. As you can guess, there are some damn great costumes at these parties. Last year for Halloween I went to a FG party as a Satanic Bagpiper. Basically just my kilt with a black shirt, red tie, and red devil horns. Easy enough. And for their big April Fools party this year I did a pretty decent Hunter Thompson. At 6’2” and a bit under 300 lbs, I for sure don’t have Dr. Thompson’s body type, but people still knew who I was (although one drunk dude thought I was Jackie Gleason from some old go-go film from the 70’s called “Skidoo”).

For this weekend’s parties, I’m going as a Tap Out Ultimate Fighter (Tap Out boxing trunks and t-shirt, hand wraps and Everlast gloves, a black knit cap with a crucifix on it, fake arm tattoo sleeve, etc), and my date is going to be a ring card hoochie girl for me. As I already have some boxing gear and the Tap Out shirt, I really don’t need to buy anything, except maybe black grease to blacken an eye. Easy peasy.

I actually originally wanted to be Braveheart, but I could not find a wig that I was satisfied with. You see, this party is going to have a heroes and villains theme, and I thought I could be both. Am I Scottish hero William Wallace, or am I evil, sugar-tit loving alcoholic racist and sexist pig Mel Gibson dressed up like Braveheart? Great concept, but the damn wigs killed it. My date for Saturday is an actress who’s agent is throwing a client party at the Hard Rock in Hollywood Sunday night, so if I mind my P’s and Q’s maybe I’ll get to go to that to, and maybe bite the bullet and be Braveheart there if I feel like a different costume in order.

So, what you gonna be for Halloween, and if not you what are the kiddies going as this year? What are the hot costumes for adults and kiddies? Chilean Miners? California candidate Jerry Brown? Prez Obama? The blue dog people from Avatar?

Season of the Witch

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Every October various cable channels march out old movie horror chestnuts for weeks leading up to Halloween. Some great, some good, and some crap. Last night I was watching a particular piece of crap that I seem to watch at least some of every year – Halloween 3: Season of the Witch. The thing is, some of the worst horror movie nonsense can be fascinating, and so it is with this sans Michael Myers addition to the Halloween movie franchise.

This 1982 film was an attempt to take the series away from Mike Myers and his Shatner mask, and create yearly anthologies of films about Halloween. Of course, John Carpenter would bring Myers back for the next movie, but for this one we would be exposed to Celtic mysticism, skull-crushing androids, head-melting masks, and dingy California Coast motels full of sleazy old- man-on-hot-young-chick sex.

It seems that there are strange doings at the Silver Shamrock novelty factory in Santa Mira California (a fictional town created in the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers, which this film is in part an homage to), a town founded by Irish immigrants who apparently schlepped a large chunk of Stonehenge to America from the Islands. A local doctor (played by mustachioed John Carpenter workhorse Tom Atkins) and the brash and sexy daughter of a murdered man (played by the very 80’s looking Stacey Nelkin, who sort of looks like a cross between Elizabeth Berkley from Showgirls and the chick from Flashdance – you can see her in the pic above having a look at her own beautiful ass) investigate the evil presence in between bouts of nauseating old/young sex at the local flea trap.

One of their nemesis in the film are the super-strong androids in business suits (predating the agents of The Matrix by decades) who always seem to be around and ready to squash a dude’s melon in their gloved hands. When some of them are busted up there for sure seems to be robot-type parts in them, but the head bad guy, a wanna be modern Samhain loving Druid played by Dan O'Herlihy, mentions at one point that one of the suit dudes was created in 17th century Germany. Huh. This would lead me to believe that they are more like Homunculus than android, but what the heck to I know. Just another head scratching mystery in this film.

O’Herlihy plans to celebrate Halloween in a unique fashion. His popular masks have a computer chip fitted with a chunk of Stonehenge, and when a special (and annoying) musical commercial is played, the mask-wearers head turns to goo, and snakes, roaches, and other vermin come pouring out to attack any others who might be around. What the hell that has to do with druids, Samhain, Stonehenge, or anything else is entirely left up in the air. You want answers mister? Tough titties (Stacey Nelkin’s titties, which you get a decent look at in unedited versions of the film).

It is a weirdo premise, and it is exactly that premise that keeps me coming back year after year. This cheaply made film with an unattractive cast (except for Nelkin, who despite having a creepy look in her eyes is quite fetching. But once you see Atkin’s hairy mitts all over her in bed, you can never look at her the same) is just gonzo with all its bizarre mysteries. The idea comes from the original writer of the film, who actually has a pretty good pedigree. It’s Nigel Kneale, creator of Britain’s first science fiction scientist hero Doctor Quartermass (although his script here was dislike by Dino De Laurentiis, who didn’t think it was gory enough, so there were some rewrites and eventually Nigel had his name removed from the film).

The following is according to Wikipedia:

Historian Nicholas Rogers notes that Halloween III is "the only film in the [Halloween] cycle that explores the sacrificial aspects of Halloween in a sustained manner."[12] Film critics like Jim Harper, however, called Wallace's plot "deeply flawed." Harper argues, "Any plot dependent on stealing a chunk of Stonehenge and shipping it secretly across the Atlantic is going to be shaky from the start." He noted, "there are four time zones across the United States, so the western seaboard has four hours to get the fatal curse-inducing advertisement off the air. Not a great plan."[4] Harper was not the only critic unimpressed by the plot. Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times wrote, "What's [Cochran's] plan? Kill the kids and replace them with robots? Why?"

Why indeed Roger, why indeed.