Elmer Fuddism in Dungeons and Dragons

Yep, it’s a term I have proudly invented for a certain kind of D&D. It’s the kind a whole passel of us somewhat older folk experienced when we first got into the game. Characters rolled up with 3D6 in order, an early form of gameplay that was about exploding chests, worms that lived in doors who ate your brain if you put your ear up to it (in a game that practically demand you put your head up the parasite infested wood), and screwjob rust monsters, and a dungeon master who delighted in your characters pain made real by your own personal humiliation when you realize the DM thinks he’s smarter than you because you just didn’t check that section of wall thoroughly enough.

The characters, often made subpar physically compared to even local farmers and shopkeepers because of the unyielding numbers brought up by 3D6, where like some dark ages Elmer Fudd (“kill the wabbit!”). Your character stumbled into the dungeon, with the DM playing Bugs Bunny with an exploding cigar in hand.

Concepts like resurrection, reincarnation, and wishes just implied that characters should die early and often in the game, and if the person being DM had any asshole qualities at all, those would surely come out in their style. DM’ing was a great way for even the most dorky 70’s/80’s version of Napoleon Dynamite to live out his God complex.

Although I tired of that type of gameplay not too late into my teens, I’m sure “push the button and die horribly” gaming was still going on (and many other non-D&D genre games that were coming out, like Paranoia, seemed to have come out of that classic D&D mode.). I stopped hanging out at Aero Hobbies because of the older creeps and the sucky gaming, and I really wasn’t somebody who would go to conventions (if anything to avoid the smell – they were pretty bad in the 80’s) anymore than for a few hours once in a very blue moon. As I said in my last post, my style in the 80’s and beyond evolved mostly because of the presence of girls and newbies to gaming into a softer, gentler DM.

Poking around the online game community in the last couple of years, I have noticed that there are still a lot of gamers who prefer “Fuddism.” Yep, do up your character with 3D6, laugh at how retarded or weak or in ill - health they are, and march him into the labyrinth and laugh at how easily he dies. Some even suggest that having shitty stats promotes good role-play!

Look, we all love Conan or Tarzan or John Carter of Mars or whoever, but we all know that these aren’t the powerhouses we are going to get with any system of stat rolling. But if you are anything like me, when/if you sit down as a player, your hope is to have a couple of stats above average and nothing under a 9. Do lower stats happen in my game? Sure, even 4D6 pick best 3 can lead to unhappy results. But generally you get a guy who even at 1st level can best the local stable hand in either physical prowess or the brains department. Hey, to have a paladin or a monk or whatever you still need to get some lucky rolls, but the chances at getting anything but the base 4 classes using 3D6 in order is actually pretty damn seriously low. Like 1 in a 100 low. Yeah, you should come in prepared to run a cleric or fighter or whatever, but if a paladin is in your heart for a long campaign, a slightly more generous method like 4D6 is going to serve you well.

As a DM (which is what I do as opposed to being player 99.9999% of the time), I don’t want to be Bugs Bunny and I don’t want the characters to be a bunch of Elmer Fudd’s or Damien Dipshits or whatever you want to call them. I want to run great, challenging adventures for characters who may have a fault here and there physically, and may not always make the right decisions, but are generally exceptional physical specimens born to adventure, and not some kind of normal schlub who has to hire on some even less normal schleps just for a chance at survival in the depths below. Not Robert E. Howard heroes necessarily, but jeez, at least they should be on the physical level of the wife beater- wearing “Guido” at the gym doing arm curls while smoking a ciggy.

I had recently planned on doing an OD&D game at an Orange County gameday event a couple of months ago, but the main thing that had me drop the whole thing was I was too conflicted over the stats. I wanted to do it by the book (that was going to be the whole point, D&D as museum piece), but 3D6 in order was just something I didn’t want to deal with. Poor little Billy with his Strength 13 fighter with a 6 constitution. Screw that.

So 4D6 is the way for me, and I think it is the most popular. I’ll even allow an elimination roll for anything under 9. Whatever it takes to get you a decent, survivable character you can be happy with and get the game under way.
And…I hope this does not conflict too much with my last post ranting about being too soft a DM…